Happy Wednesday!

So, I feel like I’ve gone on a pretty moderate rant  on facing fears and adversity since last Saturday. It was then that I gave a speech in my grad school Public Persuasion class on the lofty subject, and then a similar one to 8th graders on Monday morning. It was great. We came. We saw. We conquered, and got the magnet.

But, something else is on my mind at the moment… a different question: what do you do when the opposition is external? I’ve been so busy talking about the internal side of it, facing your personal fears and demons to overcome some of life’s slings and arrows. What do you do when you are fully prepared to face your fears, go to battle,and better yourself, and it’s OTHERS that are standing in your way?

All I can say is: let him/her/it/them go. Again, if its not feeding your personal growth and the expansion of soul, it’s contributing to it’s stagnance. Or worse, it’s contributing to it’s deterioration.

People talk about “haters.” I still think the word is a bit silly and ridiculous and 1997. It makes me think of angry mobs or people that are completely detached from you or your life. And why is this so ridiculous? Well, because haters can (more often than not) pop up amongst the people we are closest to.

Why wouldn’t they? The people we closest to are the people who hear our great news and ideas first. They are the people who are constantly reminded when we are succeeding. And they can, often secretly, harbor animosity because of that. Why? Because your success can be a  constant reminder of how much they are not succeeding, growing, or developing in their lives. That turns them into those friends with a lukewarm response to your good news. The family member that just wants nothing to do with helping plan your big event. That person who just never seems excited to see you any more.

Not your problem. Just insight.

Your “friends” can be “haters.” Your relatives can be “haters.” Your romantic interest can be a “hater.”  And when this happens, you have to let them go. I don’t mean cut your family members out of your life forever, but when the bitterness of jealousy or outright maliciousness comes through, loving at an arms- length can be one -size-fits all.

There’s just not enough time in the day to face life’s challenges AND someone else’s issues.You only have time to fulfill your unique purpose and surround yourself with loving people.

Imani Josey

Imani is a writer from Chicago, Illinois. After graduating Howard University in Washington, DC, Imani received her Masters from Northwestern University. Sometime during all of that studying, she danced professionally for the Chicago Bulls as a (Luvabulls) cheerleader, and won the titles of Miss Chicago and Miss Cook County for the Miss America Organization, as well as Miss Black Illinois USA. Read her short story “North” in the forthcoming Hidden Youth anthology, out November 2016 by Crossed Genres.

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